Parenting Without Punishment Or Reward . . . Really?

Blog post Larissa Dann 23 January 2017                  Image:Shutterstock

Warm, pliable and soft, caked in afterbirth, my newborn snuggled onto my chest. As he locked his wise eyes onto mine, I discovered a love unimaginable, a future unknowable. A new person breathed gently on my skin, and I was overwhelmed. For the next couple of decades, I would be responsible for helping him meet many of his needs – his physical and emotional needs, his nutrition, his safe passage through life.  How would I bring up this future citizen of the world?

Does Saving Time By Texting Stop Us Investing Time In Connecting With Our Children?

Larissa Dann                       

I’ve been seduced by Technology and its offspring, Electronic Communication and the Internet.  I’ve been tempted by the offer to save time, enticed by the convenience and ease of use, lured by the promise of instant gratification.

There is, however, a cost to my embracing of texting in its many electronic forms.  I wonder whether my reliance on these media is reducing the quality of connection with my young adult child.

Teaching Children Skills to Peacefully Resolve Conflict

by Larissa Dann Blog post 10th November 2015 (updated 6th December, 2016).  Adapted from ‘Sorting Sibling Squabbles

At the end of my son’s pre-school year, his teacher came up to have a chat.

“Larissa” she said “Normally, my assistant and I spend a lot of time in the cubby house sorting out squabbles between children.  This year, we spent much less time dealing with fighting children.  We discovered that your son was mediating the arguments.  We watched him say things like “Do you have any ideas about how you both can be happy?” and then the children would get on and play”.

You could have knocked me down with a feather!  At that time, my son was the only child of a single mother.  I was a big fan of Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), and was attempting to use these gentle parenting skills with him, as often as possible. The skills included no-lose (win-win) conflict resolution.

This blog helps you develop the peace making capacities of children. 

Learning To Parent Is As Important As Preparing For Birth

Larissa Dann 

 

When I was pregnant I planned. I prepared for the birth by attending antenatal classes, where I learned about stages of labour, and how to breathe through pain. I thought I was ready . . . to have a baby. But was I ready to be a parent?

How A Parenting Course Helped Our Family. Stories from Parents Putting Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) into Practice.

Larissa Dann

As a parent educator, I find coaching parents, carers and grandparents an indescribable privilege.  I meet people who love their children deeply, who have compassion, curiosity, humility, self-awareness, an eagerness to learn, and a sense of humour.  I meet people who may, at times, struggle with their role as a parent or carer.

In My Ideal World, This is How I’d Like To Communicate With My Teenage Daughter.

Blog post Larissa Dann.  17 October 2016                                  Shutterstock

Parenting a teenager can be tricky. On the one hand, there is the excitement, humour, passion and freshness of the emerging adult living with you.  On the other hand, there are the eye rolls, the ‘go away’s, (followed immediately by the ‘come here’s), and the silences.  How do you guide your teen gently to adulthood, when inside you might just want to scream?  How do you maintain a relationship of mutual respect?

P.E.T on a Page: a Summary of the Skills and Principles of Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.).

Larissa Dann

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is a gentle, peaceful parenting approach that helps develop a relationship of warmth and respect, between children and their parents or carers. Importantly, P.E.T does not use punishment and reward to change a child’s behaviour. In my opinion, the skills and philosophy of P.E.T underpin many modern parenting practices, including gentle, peaceful or attachment parenting.

The positive outcomes for children, parents and families who adopt the skills taught in P.E.T. are now, I believe, strongly backed by research and evidence. You can read more in ‘How the Evidence of Today Supports the Wisdom of Yesterday’, and read real stories from parents putting P.E.T into practice here.

My Day at an Election Booth: Why I Encourage My Kids to Vote. Democracy Rocks!

 

My weary eyes open to the dark of an early morning Saturday. Gulping a quick coffee, I douse the frosty car windows with warm water and leap in. Today is Election Day for the entire country, and I’m working at a voting booth.  I’m so excited!

I crunch across the gravel of the school driveway, in the crisp early light that only a winter’s morning can summon. Swinging open the wooden doors, I shiver into the school hall where others stand, waiting to begin the very long day.  

The Danger of Taking Your Child’s Behaviour Personally.

My journey as a parent has required openness to new ideas, learning from my best teachers (my children), and a lot of personal reflection. Sometimes, the most unlikely of situations can offer opportunities for discovery.

One light-bulb parenting moment was recognising the strong connection between me taking behaviour personally, and my anger.

The Moment I Missed My Son’s Graduation - Because I was Too Busy Recording It

Larissa Dann Blog post 6th May, 2016

Do you find yourself whipping out your phone or camera at every opportunity, ready to record those myriad of unique events in your child’s life?  I did. Now my child is a young adult, I look back and reflect. I love the memories that my photos evoke. At the same time, I am reminded of what I missed.

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