Parenting Without Rewards or Punishment. Podcast with Larissa Dann.

Wondering whether it really is possible to bring up responsible, caring children without using rewards and punishment?  Or what you can do to help you and your children have a mutually respectful, peaceful relationship? Listen to this podcast by Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage, where Casey and I discuss practical parenting skills and examples, and why avoiding punishment and rewards is beneficial in the long term.

In this podcast, I share my experience of raising my children with the skills and principles of Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), supplemented by feedback from parents who have attended my PET classes.

You might find this podcast helpful if:

  • you're seeking an idea on how to bring up your children gently, while still getting your needs met.
  • you're looking to find an alternative method of parenting to the way you were raised
  • what you're doing isn't working, and you like to try other options
  • you've attended a PET course and would like a reminder of the skills.

We cover:

  • that children do not misbehave, but behave to meet a need
  • how to be respectfully assertive and use I-Messages, while keeping your children on side (not alienating or shaming them)
  • how to listen to understand your child, and to help them help themselves
  • how to help your children develop an inner moral compass
  • extrinsic versus intrinsic motivation
  • that parents aren't perfect - and we can learn from our mistakes
  • the six steps of no-lose problem solving as an alternative to punishment or reward.
  • and much more . . .

Listen here, or read my blog, on bringing up children without rewards or punishment.

First published 6th May 2017.

© Larissa Dann 2017. All rights reserved.



Lost parent , mother in law & soon expecting my first grandson! I just can't seem to say the right words to my daughter in law! I'm so afresid of loosing my family
I need help please?

Than you for contacting us - it sounds like you really want to improve your relationship with your daughter-in-law and family. One place to start might be to read the book by Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training, or another book by Linda Adams, called Be Your Best. These detail some thoughtful communication skills that I am hoping might help in your situation. You might also be helped by seeing a counsellor, or a relationship educator? Best of luck, and I hope you do get to enjoy being a grandmother.