Growing Up With Siblings of Colour. My ‘Understanding’ Is Not Their Experience.

Larissa Dann

If you are white, like me, you may be questioning your understanding of white privilege.

I am – yet the children in my family, with whom I grew up, were of colour.

Should Children And Parents Be Friends? (My answer might surprise you.)

 

Imagine this. Your 14-year-old daughter is standing next to you, wiping up the dishes you’ve washed. You are discussing the general hum drum of life.

Out of the blue, she asks, “Am I your friend?”

Wow.

“Am I your friend?”

What would you say?

Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully

Are you looking for a life-long warm, mutually respectful, loving, relationship with your children?

Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household

 

“Mum. I’m not choosing to be here, living with my family. I should be in England – that’s where my stuff is, where I’m paying rent. I should be working and beginning my life there now that I’ve finished studying.”

Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Try ‘The Behaviour Window’.

The Behaviour Window is a powerfully simple model that helps us understand ourselves, and our reactions to other people. I’ve found the concept to be transformational in helping my everyday response to my family, and in my work.

Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello

 

My daughter and I pull up in the five-minute waiting zone outside the bus station. She relays her brother’s text messages to me.

“Bus is running late. I’m hungry”.

I sit gazing through the windscreen. I have not seen my man-son for eighteen months. I remember my swollen eyes as I hugged his taught frame goodbye at the airport, and cannot believe this was over a year ago. I wonder why I am so calm. Where is my feeling of anticipation, of excitement? Oh, could it be because Christmas is in three days, and I am overwhelmed with work, planning, and general busyness? No time to feel!

When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child

 

The glass doors glide silently open. Wearing a dark, pin-striped pencil skirt and stiletto-heeled shoes, I step nervously into the hushed court entrance. My parents, wary and apprehensive, flank me.

I am in shock. I cannot believe where life has brought me. Mum and Dad - my champions - are just as stunned. Borne of the stoic generation, they keep their feelings in check.

‘Setting Limits’ Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves

“It is one thing for a child to want to know the ‘limits of her parents’ acceptance’ and an entirely different thing to say that she wants her parent to set those limits on her behaviour” (Dr Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training.P.E.T.).

In all the parenting literature I read, there is one particular phrase that will ensure I skip an article, one concept that is guaranteed to raise my hackles.

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