Parent Effectiveness Training: How the Evidence of Today Supports The Wisdom of Yesterday

Larissa Dann.

More and more parents are educating themselves on the best way to bring up their children. We search the Internet, we read books, and we attend parenting classes. We all want to do the best by our children, to raise children that are loved and loving, confident, compassionate, considerate, and with a good sense of self-worth. In this quest for information, many parents look for evidence of effectiveness.

My experience, over 20 years of parenting using P.E.T. skills (and as a parent educator), is that the principles of Parent Effectiveness Training work. The longevity of Dr Gordon’s book and course, and its continued uptake by parents around the world, attribute to the positive outcomes of P.E.T. on family relationships. In my view, P.E.T. provided the template for what is now variously known as gentle, peaceful or respectful parenting.

The question I sought to answer in this article was: Why? What is it about the P.E.T. skills that lead to favourable life results for children and parents? The P.E.T. course has been taught since 1962. How does current evidence support P.E.T. in terms of good parenting practice? There is a now a plethora of research that unpacks various traits and conditions necessary for good outcomes for our children. How does P.E.T. fit into this evidence landscape?

Remaining Connected After Your Child Leaves Home.

Larissa Dann

My son has lived away from home for a number of years as he studied for his degree. Soon, he will further his study in a different country. Our life as a family is changing, maturing. Much as our relationship must change and mature.

How have I kept, and how do I keep, connected with this delightful, caring, and talented young man? Read on for the full article: Childhood 101.

The Heartbreak Of Packing Up Your Parent's Life

Larissa Dann.

Slipping the key into the lock, I turn the handle, and step into times past. Immediately, I inhale the scent of my mother’s life, captured forever in the carpet, the cupboards, the air contained within the walls of her home.

Only – it’s not her home anymore. This house (once a home) is a museum for family memories.

Podcast: When My Baby Sprouts a Beard: Larissa Dann and P.E.T.

 

I was fortunate to be interviewed by Hunter Clarke-Fields on bringing up children using gentle, mindful parenting from Parent Effectivness Training. Here is her introduction:

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you could look into the future and see the results of mindful parenting?

Calming Myself When My Child Is Angry With Me, And I’m Angry With My Child

Larissa Dann

Parent anger. I teach parenting to groups of parents, I’ve listened to parents’ stories on helplines, I’ve read parents’ pleas for ideas on Facebook pages. A common thread of discussion is ‘How do I deal with my anger? How do I stop the yelling?’

I am passionate about a particular peaceful approach to being a parent, because I have a structure that helps me be a better parent. Over and over again, I hear from parents who say they yell less and have a calmer household, after implementing the skills of peaceful parenting (via Parent Effectiveness Training, PET).

The Privilege Of Keeping Watch Over A Dying Parent (And Grandparent)

Larissa Dann

As my mother lay dying, my children sat with her, talked to her, reminisced with her, read to her, sang to her, played her favourite music, held her hand.
There was no question that they would not be as involved with her death, as they had been with her life.

This is my story of honouring my mother’s final days.

Wake Up! It's Five-Thirty! Seeing The Fun Through Our Babies' Eyes. (a poem)

Larissa Dann

A reflection on a moment in time for parents of a young baby.
(I make no pretensions at being a poet.  This was just fun to write!)
 
Tick-tock
Five thirty - a.m. - says the clock
I'm five months old, and it's time to wake!
I'm ready to play now - make no mistake!

When My Baby Sprouts A Beard. The Bitter-Sweet Of Waving ‘Good Luck’ To My Child Moving Overseas.

Larissa Dann

I gaze at my son across the table. His lean face concentrates on the screen in front of him, the lower half of his face covered carefully in just-the-right-length male fuzz. He looks up and his blue eyes pierce mine, trusting and innocent in their expectations of our relationship. His tenor voice fills me in on the current difficulty he is having booking a flight.

My child. My boy. My young man. My son.

I am as awed now as when I first met this person newly emerged from my body.

When Cancer Touches Someone You Know

Larissa Dann

When someone you know has had cancer, please be mindful. There is never really a ‘had’ when cancer is involved. ‘Had’ implies finished, final, gone.

‘I had cancer’ is not like ‘I had a cold’.

Being in remission is not the same as being cured.

My Phone and Me - A Story of Despair and Discovery

Larissa Dann

Why are my children always on their phone? Why can't they just put the phone down and read a book?  I'll never understand their need for their devices!

These were my constant thoughts and frustrations with my children and their phones.

That is, until the day I lost my own smart phone. Then I discovered my own frightening depth of attachment to this inanimate object.

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